Athena-chan Returns

I used to think that friendship is forever, up until around my mid twenties or so.
Perhaps I was a bit late in the game to realize that sometimes it’s not, but I also still like to believe in Santa, so at least I’m consistent.

I distinctively remember a conversation I had with an ex-fling.
I was 23 or so, and he was in his early 30’s at the time. He told me that
“When you’re older you just don’t have time for everyone. You are constantly pressed for time, and therefore you pick and choose who you want to spend time with. Friendships come and go. That’s just how life works”

I remember thinking “How depressing. That’s also not true. Friendships don’t *have* to come and go. You can always choose to make time for people you care about, it’s as simple as that.”

Now, being the same age as the guy was back then, I know he was right.
It’s true that friendships come and go. It’s true that you need to be selective of who you choose to spend time with.
But I don’t think I was entirely wrong either. The implication of his comment was that you end up cutting off certain friendships that you don’t make time for.
I like to think that there are friendships that you care about but don’t have the bandwidth to tend to *at that moment in time*.

Maybe they live far away. Maybe you’re both in different life stages. There can be a wide range of reasons why you care about someone but you don’t talk to or see them regularly. But that doesn’t mean you have to be “done” with the friendship. I like to think that if two people care about each other and are truly connected at the heart, then you can hit the pause and un-pause button and continue the relationship when you both so choose.

Is my time limited? Yes. Are there people that I’ve chosen to cut off because we are no longer fit for each other? Yes. Are there people that I care deeply about that I also don’t spend time with these days? Also yes. Are they just as, if not more, important as the people I do spend time with in my current period of life? Absolutely yes. And I hope they feel the same way about me.
Actually, somehow I *know* that they feel the same way about me.